Wonderbelly

100 Things About Mindy

1. I am passionate about knowledge. It’s the key to so much else.
2. I am a mother of three and a sister of seven. I have one brother, three half-brothers, two stepbrothers, and one stepsister.
3. That first brother is the only sibling I lived with while growing up.
4. My mom and dad divorced when I was 4, and have been married to people who suit them perfectly for 23 and 30 years, respectively.
5. I’m still glad they hung in there long enough to have me, though.
6. If you had described how my life would be today to me 15 years ago, I would have thought you were loco.
7. Most of what I do and have and love came about through chance, serendipity, grave error or total disaster. So on balance, not so bad.
8. In college, I studied anthropology, literature, Spanish, and psychology. I ultimately completed the psych degree, though I could have tilted just a bit and completed the degree in any of the others.
9. I changed my major a lot in college.
10. I have a career based on zero education in my field. My department handles the legal and financial end of grants administration at a private foundation.
11. I have never had a single accounting class, unless you count that silly seminar that teaches you to run a lemonade stand.
12. I love green and blue and neutrals for decorating, and pink for clothes. Never thought I liked pink until about 5 years ago, and now I can’t stop wearing it.
13. My first two children were so highly engineered as to be born wearing lab coats, but my third was the result of a drunken night of irresponsible sex.
14. I have learned that the body is a highly unpredictable and capricious thing and that it deserves our respect and awe.
15. If you can make me laugh, you’re halfway to earning my devotion.
16. If we feel comfortable enough in each other’s company to come to each other’s homes in sweats and rummage in each other’s fridges, you’re 80% there.
17. If I can trust you, you’re in 100%, baby.
18. I will always treat your children as I do my own.
19. That also means I will send them home if they get out of hand.
20. There is much I would love to write about, but won't, because I respect the privacy and feelings of those around me.
21. If you think what you’ve read here already is personal enough as it is, be assured that it is nothing compared to what stays on the inside.
22. Having said that, I have a smokin’ hot book in my head that will never be published.
23. That makes me a little nutty sometimes.
24. But then I’ve always been a little nutty.
25. And obnoxious.
26. I have been married twice.
27. I have never been a bridesmaid.
28. I have no idea what to make of that.
29. Both men strongly held the opinion that I should have been an attorney.
30. Neither liked arguing with me.
31. I wouldn’t like that either.
32. My ex used to call me Queen Melinda the Last.
33. Then again he was an Irish-Iranian Jehovah’s Witness stockbroker-turned-auto reconditioner. I could be forgiven for talking that with a grain of salt.
34. I abhor willful ignorance.
35. That had nothing to do with the previous item.
36. Much.
37. I was raised a Catholic, but studied philosophy and world religions throughout my educational career.
38. I learned just enough to keep me teetering for the rest of my life. Sometimes I think I did myself a disservice.
39. No, I didn’t.
40. It’s just that those who believe fully and completely and passionately seem to have one up on the rest of us who are unsure. They seem happy and secure. And I can’t figure out if it’s because of their faith, or if they have that faith because of something in their dispositions that allows them to make the leap and be content.
41. I tend to procrastinate, and then deliver on time.
42. Usually, it’s a first draft, but still quality stuff.
43. I was supposed to have the secondary, supplemental job.
44. I was going to stay home with my children.
45. I was only going to have two children.
46. I was going to have them before I was 30.
47. I was going to live near my extended family.
48. I am the sole wage earner in my family.
49. I have a real, grownup career.
50. I am well known in my field, and have the respect of my colleagues.
51. I kinda like that.
52. I also like that I still come to work in casual attire, sit on the floor to have impromptu meetings, and frequently walk around barefoot. It’s my department, and we all enjoy the atmosphere. Swearing and un-PC humor are very much appreciated.
53. Although people usually think I am making it up, I grew up poor in the inner city.
54. From the age of eight or so, I did all of the family’s grocery shopping at the Dominick’s five blocks away, where everyone knew to let the little girl use the credit card to pay, and that she would tote everything in her wheeled cart back home and up the two flights of stairs.
55. My brother never had to do the shopping.
56. Grrrr.
57. I also did all of the family’s laundry until I graduated from high school and went off to college.
58. I left Chicago to go to college in San Diego. It was the furthest you could go without getting wet.
59. Although my brother will disagree, I was always a “good” girl.
60. He was, let’s say, a man of strong convictions and even stronger biceps.
61. I learned to fend for and defend myself very well at an early age.
62. I did my rebelling in college, in a way that struck fear deep into my mother’s heart.
63. I went to school for 2 1/2 years, dropped out to model, married a lapsed Jehovah’s Witness who relapsed five minutes later, and moved to an apartment between the railroad tracks and the beach in Oceanside.
64. I came to my senses a year later, moved to the Bay Area, filed for divorce, and went back to school.
65. I never saw my ex again. I was that freaked out by his jealous behavior. I let him keep everything except the debt. That was all mine.
66. I think that is when I became assertive to the point of being scary at times. But I hope it’s in moderation.
67. I am not a jealous person. I don’t think I ever was, but I have also been cured of any last traces of it after witnessing how it can destroy relationships.
68. I love using power tools.
69. I can disassemble the interior of a car and put it back together, seats and all. I once did it to a Rolls Royce cabriolet.
70. I used to drive limousines on the side.
71. Prom couples tip to beat the band.
72. Drunken Marines do not. They hire limos to drive around locally to the strip clubs, and then ask you to go through the drive-through at Del Taco.
73. I was mugged several times while growing up in Chicago. Two muggers in particular stand out: a little old lady who distracted me in the grocery store by asking me to help find a nonexistent product while her little accomplice swiped my wallet; and a guy who swiped two gold chains off my neck at noon on the subway downtown. I was thirteen, and on my way home from summer school. The necklaces were Confirmation gifts from my father and stepfather. I chased the fucker off the train, down the platform, and through two tunnels before I lost him. Then I noticed that my neck was bleeding and I had left my purse on the train.
74. A guy from the neighborhood saw the whole thing and braved the hostile stares of everyone in the car when he picked up my purse and carried it home for me. He was a 6’2” black guy picking up a little white girl’s purse. I admired the heck out of him for that.
75. Just a year before all of that, I was such a little stoner chick. Not that I smoked and did drugs, but I sure dressed like it. Old Army jacket covered in Led Zeppelin buttons, a bandana around my neck and another around one ankle, feathered hair, black eyeliner. Feathery roach clips in my hair. I had NO idea what I was doing.
76. I have always loved to write. Most of it was crap, but once in a while it was good. One teacher pulled me out of class after I wrote a short story about a girl’s mother dying of cancer. She was concerned it was true.
77. I was always sort of a loner. I was tall and gawky. I had a few very good friends, but never really fit in and was certainly never part of a clique or the “in” group.
78. Despite this, I was elected to Homecoming Court in both junior and senior year.
79. I have no idea what to make of that.
80. I always had unusual boyfriends. The most serious one in HS was a Jim Morrison look-alike, a pole-vaulter, and a martial arts fan. He was nicknamed “Chan” and taught me to handle a wooden sword, butterfly knives, and throwing stars. I never told my mom about that.
81. I also never told her about my Serbian boyfriend's family wanting me to marry their son and move back to Belgrade. I demurred. On reflection, a wise decision.
82. She and my stepfather came home one night to find me asleep in the front seat of Chan's ’66 Plymouth Fury at one o’clock in the morning. They were livid, even though we weren’t fooling around I had lost my keys and he was waiting with me until someone came home to let me in.
83. That was the day they taught me that sometimes the appearance of something is more important than the reality. I remember my step-dad saying that to me in the living room on St. Louis Avenue as if it were yesterday.
84. Although I always tested well, I completely and totally sucked at math in school. I was always getting assigned to the advanced classes and then dropping out in fear.
85. In college, I purposely flubbed that part of the entrance exam, and was put in remedial math. After working my way out of that hole, I had to drop calculus, twice, because I couldn’t understand the first thing about it. It turned out that I could take statistics instead, which I LOVED, and ended up tutoring some of the class.
86. I used to be a fair archer, and was asked to teach an archery class in college. I gave it up because I am double-jointed and kept injuring my elbow.
87. I told Will this story recently when he received a toy plastic bow and arrow. I offered to teach him to shoot, and then proceeded to embarrass myself completely. He then picked it up and let fly beautiful, arcing shots across the yard, one after another.
88. Stupid toys.
89. Although I have no artistic talent of my own, I am secretly pleased that at least one of my children seems to have the makings of an artist. My brother is an amazing artist. He never draws anymore, but should.
90. He's married, and I absolutely adore my sister-in-law. She’s a vet, and is one of the coolest people I know.
91. Next to you, of course.
92. My family is an interesting mix of distant and present. You may not see any of them for the longest time, but if you ever need anything, any one of them would drop everything to help you, or just listen, in a second. I love that about them. (This means you, Ellen. You’re the best.)
93. I think that loss makes you appreciate the people in your life more. That’s not profound or obscure, but it’s true. I have lost several friends, all of my grandparents, a cousin. I still miss them.
94. I think that living in adversity also makes you more tolerant of living conditions, people’s shortcomings, unrealized dreams. On the one hand, it lets you be satisfied with less, but on the other it also knocks a little bit of the dream out of you. The upside is that you know that you can survive anything.
95. My younger son survived an attack of viral myocarditis at one week of age. I literally saved his life when I rushed him to the emergency room one night because he didn’t “feel” right. He was in heart failure, stopped breathing, and was on life support for several weeks.
96. The bill came to a quarter of a million dollars. I was in the middle of switching insurance carriers, and the claim was almost rejected. Almost. See Thing #66.
97. That kid is the hardiest, wackiest, brightest, most energetic, most mischievous child I have ever encountered. He was SO totally a worthy save.
98. I am finally over wanting my parents to remarry.
99. That right there is a powerful argument against precipitous divorce.
100. Despite my habit of lighthearted bitching, I really am happy with the way things have turned out in my life. I recognize that my current lot in life is a direct result of choices I have made, or the way I have reacted to others’ choices, and I am OK with that to the point of smugness.